How do you eat an Elephant? (Finding a living donor)
I caught a case of the tireds…. By the way, did you know I need a kidney?
This winter, I struggled with the plan of moving out from behind the fear of being vulnerable & judged to ready myself for this kidney journey. I had to literally pull myself thru the darkness to be ready to share this message, not unlike figuring out how to eat an Elephant. (I’m a Navy Seal Fan, so there might be a few SEAL references here) Filled with courage, I’m going to share my journey of finding Sidney the Kidney. (Oh yes, I’ve named the kidney coming my way!)
Also, I heard God does not like quitters, so I have to move forward.
When exactly will I need a kidney? I wish I knew, two options: Option A: find a living donor or Option B: Wait for a deceased donor (2-3 years). Over 100,000 people in the US right now that currently need of a kidney. (LINK TO NKF).
From past experience, while I’m deciding how to eat said elephant, someone declares:
* YOU DO NOT LOOK SICK?!
* I saw you at dinner the other day, you went on vacation, what do you mean, are you already on dialysis?
* You certainly look well to me, in fact you look THIN, I have been trying to lose these last ten pounds but you look FABULOUS!
* Wow, I had no idea.
* When will you get better? (Really? I’m at 19% kidney function) I feel better than a lot of my fellow warriors.
*If you are so sick, what are you doing?
I thought you had to be on dialysis to get a kidney???
This is the “Elephant in the room” & the well-meaning comments cut deep.Yes, I’m trying to live between appointments. I’m planning for an after transplant.
What day can I go back to scuba diving? That is my number one question… when can I get back underwater??? Can I go visit my aquatic buddies?
What has helped?? (As we dig into the Elephant in the Room)
Lots of things, but I’ll mention a few because I have another post about creating a “Resilience Toolbox.” One thing I found is the IGAN Foundation, their Facebook group & their support groups. Friends I dearly care about that I’ve never met! I can’t wait to meet Amanda, Gisela, John & Tanya AND Bonnie at our Spark Conference. They host a monthly Zoom where I’ve gotten to meet so many other people in my spot. The isolation & loneliness immediately got better. Others understood my complaints and we cheer each other on. My IGAN friends are inspiring and motivating.
My friends and family comprise one of the other vital items in my “Resilience Toolbox” help keep my head above water & focused in the right direction. Being present with a meal, or a visit, or a phone call. As I have started to share bits & pieces, I’m realizing HOW valuable these people are. I’ll never be able to repay these kindnesses in any depth….
In the back of my mind, as I’m getting ready to eat this elephant, negative destructive thoughts cloud my vision… I don’t feel like I deserve someone else’s kidney. How likely am I going to be able to pay for medicines, maintain a job and keep a positive attitude thru this processs? I already feel like I am on “borrowed time” from all the surgeries, medicines, illnesses and health challenges I’ve overcome.
I’m surviving on the “suspension of disbelief” in hopes that FAITH and EFFORT will put me in the right place at the right time. Hopefully my mind will be ready when my body is, because I want to know….
It will be awhile until any of those questions are fully answered but the motto shared by all, and the task I have to undertake is to GIVE MYSELF GRACE. Oh right, I need to GIVE MYSELF GRACE. Slather on the GRACE sauce like it was Kansas City BBQ sauce on smoked ribs…
Making friends with the Elephant in the room has helped me sort and figure out how to work around this ginormous task into edible pieces.
HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT?
ONE BITE AT A TIME.
Thank you for reading & Please spread the word.
C. Courtney Walker
Blood Type A
Once again, that contact info for KU Med.
Christina Self, Living Donor Transplant Coordinator
913-945-6929 voice
https://www.kansashealthsystem.com/care/specialties/organ-transplant